Creating a supportive Postpartum Plan

Katie Douglas

4 days ago

4 min read

Hint: it's about being able to cope ahead and mapping your circle.

Ask these 3 questions to get started

Do I feel supported right now?

Am I craving connection, or some space?

Who do I turn to when I need comfort or practical help?

In postpartum life, knowing the difference between loneliness and alone time can be powerful. Alone time is chosen. Loneliness feels like being stuck in the dark, even if you’re not physically alone.

Alone time is powerful in postpartum. As new parents its hard to walk away from baby for even a few moments. All the what-if's pop up, the baby makes a noise, or the guilt. Oh my god, the guilt.

You know when people say you cant pour from an empty cup? When you’re feeling all-consumed by the mom-guilt that if you take an ounce of alone time or even think that you'dlike to not be right next to the baby for 3 seconds that that makes you a monster- doll... your cup is empty. Go fill it. Seriously.

Just because you had a baby doesn't not mean they you and your needs cease to exist. Yes, I know, the baby has a giant list of needs and demands. Yes, it's easy to put yourself on the back burner. And its okay to do so for a day. Not a month. You are still human. It's okay to let baby enjoy alone time as well. Weve got to find sustainable ways for you to survive

Lets workshop it

What's really preventing your alone time?

Fear? What if something happens to the baby? That's valid. Lets talk about it. What if something happens to the baby? She will cry. You will come to her rescue. What if you dont get there in time? Lets create a space where against reasonable doubt the baby will be safe. Were not going to place baby in front of a large screen television, on top of a table, in the same room as all 7 of your cats, or leave them alone for any length of time that is neglectful, and youre likely not going to leave the premises either. At least not to begin with. To be honest though that is my hope. That you can overcome your anxiety enough to be able to leave baby with a trusted person so you can be you for an evening. Tell me, what danger could come from leaving a freshly fed and changed baby swaddled in a comfy crib or bassinet. Or even on the floor while you go sit on the back porch drinking sweet iced tea, watching the clouds for 10 minutes?

It can really help to articulate either verbally to yourself or in a journal all of your what if's, identifying the worst case scenario. And then identifying the most likely scenario which is that everything would be fine. More than that everything would be better. Baby will be unharmed, and you will feel reset.

Now I'm not a full time member of the looney bin. I know this takes practice to be comfortable and it may not work the first time. But try. Seriously try. If it doesnt work the first time try again the next day.

This skill is called coping ahead . Well its a subset of coping ahead anyhow. And it can work for a variety of needs you're like to be ignoring for yourself. Alone time is just one piece of the puzzle, consider using this technique to fill another need like accepting help, or making personal connections. The point is, fill your cup and starting with alone time can be an easy jumping off point for many!

Want to do more than watch clouds? Try the exercise below.

Mini Self-Care Exercise: Mindful Noticing Walk 🚶‍♀️

Whether it’s five minutes in your yard or a slow stroll to the mailbox, try this grounding practice:

1. Walk slowly. Focus on your feet meeting the earth.

2. Name five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can smell, and one deep breath.

3. Let each step be an anchor. You’re here, and you’re doing beautifully.

This can be a reset button on a hard day.

last but not least, a proper postpsrtum plan requires other people! You don't live in a bubble and your circle wants in. Let them!

Mapping Your Support Circle 🧭

Your postpartum plan shouldn’t just be about diapers and doctor appointments.

It should include real people, real help, and real rest.

Ask yourself:

Who will bring me meals?

Who can I text at 3 a.m. when I feel overwhelmed?

Who will listen, not fix?

Who can come sit with the baby so I can shower?

You don’t need a big village—just a few safe, steady people.

Need a starting place? Try drawing a circle with your name in the center. Then list 4 types of people:

✨ Emotional support

🍼 Practical help (meals, cleaning, errands)

💬 Listening ear/text check-ins

🧘 Personal space & time protectors

You might be surprised who shows up in your mind.

Disclaimer * You're allowed to dismiss anyone in your lifeduring this incredibly sensitive time. If theres someone in your life thatmakes you feel yucky, doesn’t respect your boundaries or otherwise, you're allowed to cut them off, even temporarily. No explanations needed. Your peace matters above everything else.

Thats it for this one. I hope you do these exercises and that they help. If you do, please let me know how they helped or didn't help in the comments below!