About
The Full Story
This whole journey is hard. Even if you're not suffering with anxiety, depressions, or any of the other symptoms postpartum brings, this is still a huge transition. Trusting someone to come into your home, around your new baby, it's a bit uncomfortable. During consultations, we don't talk much about me, so I wrote my little biography so you can get a feel for who I am before you reach out. You need to feel comfortable with who you're going to consider being in your home, and I hope this does just that. Let's jump in.
In 2011 I was diagnosed with PCOS, and was told I would never conceive a child. I didn't let the diagnosis stop me, I chose to become a foster mom with hopes to adopt. In 4 years, my husband and I fostered 14 kiddos from all age ranges and walks of life. Five years after my foster journey ended, surprise! My baby, Bodhi, was conceived. I was shocked, nervous, and excited. I would finally be a momma. ❤️ 💙 💜
I felt so sure of my ability to be a mom. Afterall I already 'had' 14 kids!
False, so freaking false. The audacity I had!
I was prepared for sleepless nights, never ending feed-change-cry cycles. I even knew I would experience postpartum depression and anxiety as I have experienced both disorders previously.
I had no idea about the mental and physical load your own babies' cries carry. The challenge it is to not be able to soothe my baby. To feel like a failure for not being super woman. What kind of standard is that anyway? Dang man.
I didn't know there were different levels of depression. I didn’t know I would experience the deepest depression of my life along with OCD, anxiety, and rage; all postpartum specific. I couldn't figure out why I hated my baby, why I had such revolting thoughts and visions about him and, why after grieving the loss of my foster care journey, I finally got exactly what I wanted and now all I feel is the strongest urge to escape this life in ANY way possible.
I lacked knowledgeable support for the first several months and was told "its just postpartum, it'll pass", "It's normal". ---Pause. This is not normal. It is common. There is a difference.
Hindsight really is 20-20. I know that if I had sought a postpartum therapist, support groups, and education beyond Dr. Google, and really took care of my needs, my suffering would have been significantly less. If I had someone by my side helping me get services, I would have followed through with getting help a lot sooner. In the first few months my brain just wasn’t online. True survival mode is an experience most don’t understand until they experience It for themselves.
I would not have wished those first 6 months on an enemy. The self loathing I felt due to all the other things going on was its own beast to wrestle with. These feelings and thoughts are NOT normal. They are however, common. We are not mom-sters. You will not become a mom-ster. Having support is shown to increase positive outcomes. I want that for everyone
I am so grateful to have learned coping skills and other practices to help manage my emotions, increase my tolerance, and find peace; even joy. I am absolutely in love with my baby boy. He is so easy to care for, my anxiety about everyone snatching him is gone. I don't feel absolute dread when the sun goes down, nor when he cries in the middle of the night. Even though it is mostly just him and I, I don't feel alone anymore. It's wonderful. This life is wonderful, even though it started out completely opposite.
Thus, Wild Wonders Doula was born. I want to help others endure this transition a lot smoother than I was able to do.
Beyond mama & postpartum, I enjoy a variety of music. We can totally go do karaoke or sit around a campfire and I can doodle around on the guitar strumming the 3 tunes I still remember from high school.
I LOVE to cook. I was a cook for many years in my younger days, and that is how I met my (now ex) husband. I can make a killer soup, biscuits & gravy, spring salad, and sugary anything!
And I absolutely love being outside. Hiking is a #1 current passion of mine that I engage in quite frequently. I am obsessed with 🍄mushroom hunting, to a point where I figured out how to grow mushrooms, and someday I will be a mushroom farmer and or commercial forager because it's just too dang fun. Also rocks 🪨💎. Rocks are cool.
I love to laugh, I'm a better listener than a teller. I enjoy meditating, doing yoga, and co-occupying space. So, even if you're not needing professional services, there are lots of opportunities to connect on other levels, and be besties!
I am funny, empathetic, and easy to talk to. I support all family dynamics and am proud to serve the LGBTQIA+ community! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️