C-Section: The Easy Way, My Ass.

April is cesarean awareneaa month. Though really we should all be aware of the risks benefits and alternatives of c-section births.

First, a c-section birth is still a birth you deserve dignity and respect. Thankfully many hospitals now offer gentle c-sectionsz offer to put baby on your chest aftwards, and will respect delayed cord clamping requests and other desires which is awesome.

Mt word of advice here is thst regardless of your election to do a c-section or you have to haveone for healthor emergency reasons while you are doing your birth plan and selecting your OB-GYN, ask about their c-section methods! You deserve to know.

I elected c-section and I regret it for many reasons, here is my story.

My Story

When my son was born via cesarean, I only held him for seven minutes. I couldn’t tolerate the pressure of him on my body—I felt detached from the entire experience. The moment that was supposed to be filled with connection felt empty. I dissociated almost immediately, and though I tried desperately to soothe him, I knew he could sense my indifference. It shattered me. I hated myself for not feeling what I thought I was supposed to feel.

That disconnection lasted for several months. Bonding didn’t come naturally, and I spent a long time grieving the experience I thought I would have. The healing process in those first six weeks was grueling. Even something as basic as taking a shower felt impossible.

Sometimes I think about how things might have been different if I had chosen a vaginal birth. But at the time, I was terrified—the ultrasound estimated a 13-pound baby, and fear won.

Had i believed more strongly about my bodies ability to birth a baby my postpartum mood disorders would have been far less severe, I would have bonded better. At least that what I think. Who knows what really would have happened.

Why This Matters

I’m sharing this because it’s not just a personal story—it’s a systemic one. The cesarean rate in the U.S. remains high, and many birthing people aren’t presented with full, evidence-based information before making a decision. I wish I’d had more support, more time, and more encouragement to explore my options. I wish someone had talked to me about induction, positioning, true macrosomia stats, or even how unreliable weight estimates can be.

Ways We Can Advocate for Change

• Demand transparency in hospital c-section rates and compare them when choosing a birth location.

• Support access to midwifery care and birth centers, which are linked to lower c-section rates.

• Normalize doula support—having a trained support person has been shown to reduce the likelihood of cesarean birth.

• Push hospitals to implement evidence-based practices like allowing movement in labor, continuous labor support, and avoiding unnecessary early inductions.

• Encourage the use of shared decision-making tools so birthing people can make informed choices, not fear-based ones.

  
  

If you want to dig deeper into the data and recommendations, I highly recommend reading through the Evidence Based Birth® article on preventing cesareans here.

You deserve to know all your options. And you deserve to heal—whatever your birth looked like.

Let's dig a bit deeper here. Everyone undert hr sun will have something unhelpful to say about your experience. Cringe at all the "at least" comments!

At least... Eff Off.

If you’ve had a c-section, chances are you’ve heard something like:

“At least the baby’s healthy.”

“At least you didn’t have to push.”

“At least you didn’t tear.”

“At least you got to plan it.”

“At least you’re not traumatized like so-and-so.”

If you'relooking forward to a c-section those are some of the things you may hear. It can help to prepare yourself for how you will respond to keep your peace.

Let’s be clear: these comments are not helpful. They're dismissive. They minimize what is often a physically grueling and emotionally disorienting experience. When someone tells you “at least…” they are trying to shortcut past your pain—because they are uncomfortable with it.

Its true, you can be grateful and grieving at the same time for the same thibg. You can be thankful your baby is safe and feel devastated by how things unfolded. That emotional complexity is valid. You can choose a c-section early on believing it is the best thing for you, and girl if it is it is, those comments may still be hurtful even if its totally what you wanted!

The Link to PMADs

Postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) often go hand-in-hand with birth trauma. And unprocessed cesarean experiences—especially when they’re emergency, unplanned, or filled with fear—can trigger PMADs or deepen existing struggles. Minimizing language, like the “at least” comments, can make people feel isolated and invalidated, feeding the spiral of shame, anxiety, or depression.

How to Respond to "at least..."

You don’t owe anyone an explanation—but if you want to respond, here are a few ideas:

“I know you mean well, but that comment actually makes me feel dismissed.”

“My experience was traumatic, and I’m still working through it.”

“There’s more to birth than just a healthy baby. My health and feelings matter too.”

“Please don’t try to silver-lining my experience. It was hard, and I’m allowed to say that.”

Standing up for yourself, or even just enduring the comments takes an energetic toll. It's time to do some self-care and self-soothing.

Why Self-Soothing Matters

When a comment cuts deep, or even just stings, it’s easy to spiral. That’s why self-soothing is so essential. It’s not about pretending everything’s okay. It’s about offering yourself the compassion and care you didn’t receive in that moment.

Simple ways to self-soothe after a triggering comment:

1. Place your hand on your heart and say, “This is hard, and I’m allowed to feel it.”

2. Step away, drink water, breathe deeply.

3. Journal what you wish had been said.

4. Text someone who validates your experience.

5. Take five minutes to cry, scream, or sit with your truth without judgment.

Your healing deserves space. And your birth experience deserves respect. If someone doesn’t give you that—give it to yourself.

Check out leapfrog.org to learn about your hospitals stats.

Go to postpartum.net if youre experiencing emotional struggles following a c-section. There are people able to help and there are support groups just for you!

Much mama love,

Katie @ Wild Wonders Doula,

it doesn't stop at birth and neither do we.