What do I actually need for baby?

Follow along with me, Katie @ Wild Wonders Doula, on this rabbit hole as I go through a list of what babys actually need, what you should put on your baby registry, and how mom needs her own registry too!

TLDR @ the end.

It’s easy to get swept up in the wave of baby products marketed as “essential,” but so much of it is just plastic clutter waiting to take over your home. Mom actually needs more than baby does, but she always comes in last. Companies know new parents are anxious to be prepared and get baby everything it needs, so they pitch endless gadgets and toys that promise to make life easier. The reality? Many of these items end up as barely used, bulky nuisances that gather dust and take up space. From gadgets that claim to soothe your baby to toys that promise endless engagement, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking these things are needed. In most cases, they provide more clutter than function, turning your living space into a sea of unnecessary items and taking away from what matters most—spending time together. Instead of filling your home with plastic “conveniences,” consider investing in experiences and support systems that truly nurture both you and your baby.

Key Items

• Food, Sleep, Diapers: Babies need frequent feedings, plenty of sleep in a safe space, and regular diaper changes. These basics create a steady rhythm for the early days.

• Comfort and Bonding: Babies thrive with skin-to-skin contact, being held, and hearing your voice. Simple moments of touch and interaction provide the security they need.

• Essential Gear: Stick to minimal basics—comfortable clothing, a safe sleep space, a few swaddles, and diapering supplies.

Notice I didn't say a brightly colored floor mat with a jingly key chain, piano bar, and crinkle paper? No $80 subscription service marketing the Montessori methods. No obnoxiously loud vibrating ball.

But tummy time is important! Babies need toys! Montessori is a proven method!

It is. Tummy time is incredibly important for baby development. And it only requires a tummy and a surface for said tummy. The surface can even be you! So, kick back on the couch, put their tummy to your chest, and make all the silly faces at each other. That is so much more engaging than some brightly colored temporary, incredibly expensive nonsense.

Say no to the $80 toy subscription no matter how their marketing moves you. You don't need a Weeble wobble, flashcards, jingle socks, rainbow boxes - none of it! They are fun, but they're not necessary.

All babies will be smart because you are talking to them, singing to them, responding to their cues, nurturing them, and providing them a safe and comfortable environment. All babies will crawl, walk, and run in their own time, regardless of what toy you bought for them this week.

Having these items doesn't define if you are a good or bad mom. Having the latest obnoxiously loud Furby doesn't say anything about you other than you either (1) like to buy stuff or (2) accepted a gift. Why are we trying to make Baby Einstein at 3 days old? Do we not have enough time? Can we just focus on bonding & responding? Where did all the pressure of having the smartest baby ever come from?

Okay, but my house can't be devoid of all baby stuff. What about the things baby needs beyond toys like burp cloths, washcloths, and those fancy swaddler gowns. And still, I'll need some toys! I need the baby to be entertained so I can take care of myself.

Of course!!!! Continue reading 😋

Essential Items for Taking Care of a Baby

• Diapers

• Diaper rash cream and/or baking soda

• Baby bodywash/shampoo

• Baby first aid & hygiene kit containing a thermometer, *a cradle cap brush *, nose sucker, and nail clippers.

• Toothbrush & toothpaste

• Gripe water

• Teething pain relief options such as infant Ora-gel, infant Tylenol, arnica tablets, teethers, etc.

• Baby bath (a foam sink flower is recommended for the first several months)

• Swaddle blankets

• Clothing - opt for PJ's [when not doing skin-to-skin] for the initial 3 months. After that, having 10 daytime and 10 nighttime outfits is sufficient with regular laundry. Avoid unnecessary excess in clothing items.

• A few age-appropriate toys (baby-safe mirror, stuffed toy)

• Attentive parenting

• Car seat & stroller combination

• Bottles

• Breast Pump

• Pacifier (Binky)

• Nipple brush set (preferably a pack with 3 different lengths, not silicone)

• Consider highchair, bibs, infant tableware, and sippy cups at 6 months.

What baby doesn't need

❌Burp cloths - you probably have kitchen towels.

❌baby wash cloths - its easier to rub baby down with soapy hands

❌baby bottle dish soap - give me a break.

❌baby clothes laundry detergent - consider making the switch to free & clear type products

❌bottle warmer - run water under hot water for a few minutes, microwave milk in a glass container and then transfer to bottle or consider weaning early to allow baby to accept cold milk if milk isn't coming directly from mom; there's some science behind this thought but that's for someone else to talk about.

❌wipe warmer - warm wipes or cold wipes babies don't like them. If you feel like the wipes are making baby fussier, consider rubbing one between your hands or hot boxing one in your palms with your mouth, or even sitting on a few while getting baby undressed

❌bottle sanitizer - if you're washing bottles in hot water, by themselves, with a bottle brush specifically for the bottles this is unnecessary. You could use a bleach alternative for sanitation if you are worried about it or babies' immune system is compromised.

❌10 million outfits

❌13 different kinds of blankets

❌Snow suit

❌Tummy Time mat

❌Expensive subscription service toy boxes

❌sit to stand walker

❌so many things

Mom's Essentials

• Silverette nipple Shields

• nursing bra

• loose comfortable top to allow on demand nursing

• pads/depends

• self care days

• postpartum therapy

• postpartum massage, chiropractic, body works, acupuncture.

• compassion & patience

• snacks

• water

• protein

• full meals

• the ability to shower for more than 3 minutes

• walks

• chocolate

• Disposable dinnerware, flatware, and cups

• nipple butter

• sleep

• Other kinds of rest (time with friends, art, nature, etc.)

• Time for herself

• Minimal exposure to negative social media

• Postpartum Support Internation Services @ postpartum.net

• A postpartum doula

• To not do the dishes or laundry and be okay with it

• For someone else to do the dishes

• Prepared meals

• a Lactation specialist

• Support

I know some of these sound silly; but they are absolutely needed. Having meals ready to go and dishes that can be tossed free's mom up from chores so she can get more rest, bond with baby, have time to herself, have time to chat with a friend, or just take a damn load off. Newborn life is incredibly isolating and hard physically and mentally. You might think ok but half of these things you can't put on a baby registry for people to buy for you, or to just pick up at the store. Right?

Wrong!

Be Her Village solved this problem! You can now add doula services, therapy, massage, housekeeping, lactation, and more to your baby registry! Check out Be Her village to learn more!

Entertaining baby so you can have alone time

Sure, the toys are entertaining for the baby, and it gives you a break. 100%, you need time for yourself. Have you ever seen a newborn look at a ceiling fan? Its oodles of fun for them and provides you several moments to step away!

Babies are capable of entertaining themselves. They've got hands to find, lines in the wall they're studying. however, if you feel like they need something, consider one or two crinkle books, pictures, a baby safe mirror, a safe plushie, and a rattle.

Creating a Play Space

Set up the photographs, and mirror to stand upright for baby to view them at their own leisure. Ensure the photos and mirror are safe for baby so if they happen to fall over and bop Lucy on the head it won't be a trip to the hospital, just another reason to kiss her sweet cheeks.

Place the other objects near her. Some recommend to place these objects just out of reach to encourage her to reach for them which helps improve motor skills and aids in rolling and crawling later.

Alternative Toys For Baby to Reduce Clutter

• You

• Kitchen utensils - spoons, spatulas, tongs, whisks

• Pots & pans

• Small boxes

• Jar lids

• You

• Plastic containers

• plastic dinnerware

• Set of keys

• Sticky notes

• You

• Pair of balled up socks

• Rice in an empty seasoning shaker

• Fruit - whole apples, oranges, bananas, lemons, limes etc.

• Veggies - Whole onion, carrot, celery, rutabaga, jicama

• Balled up sheet of paper

• You

The idea here is it needs to be light enough for baby (2 to 3 months old) to manipulate. Light enough that if he is holding it while lying on his back, and it drops on his face it isn't going to cause harm.

Ages & Stages

Eventually the socks won't be so fun anymore and babe will need more. You still don't need to buy every flashy, wooden Melissa & Doug fake food kitchen set. They're cute, I know. We ended up getting the little box with the onion, tomato, carrot, banana, in a little wooden crate. He liked the crate, and we shoot the banana like a cannonball from our mouths.

0-3 months

You are enough

Until baby is about 3 months old, they are a potato. They eat, cry, sleep, and poop on repeat. We don't need to rush to the 3 months stage. It has its own problems.

3-9 months

Crinkle books, reading books, stuffies, baby safe mirrors, & the list of alternative toys.

9-18 months

This is when toys become a bit more needed.

You still don't need that subscription. Unsubscribe from it in your e-mail. You still don't need to buy everything under the sun. Tell Aunt Jan to stop sending you junk. Kids like the boxes more than the item itself. Below is a minimalist list

• Simple bath toys like rubber ducks (no holes!)

• a shape sorter

• Ring stacker

• Telephone

• Some kind of musical instrument

• Books

• colors & paints

• You

When babies start crawling and walk their world opens up a lot! It can be nerve wracking but let them explore safely. It's time to put the plug-in protectors in, foam padding on the edges of furniture, cabinet locks, and those super annoying door handle things. Be sure to secure all heavy furniture! Your days of rearranging the house are done for the next two to three years!

The dining room chair become toys, the baby gate becomes a toy, the entertainment center with all of your DVD's that you haven't watched in 7 years become toys. Let them! Is he really going to hurt your precious DVD? Can you not go buy another copy to sit and collect more dust? Let him explore!

The best toy for this stage though is you. You can chase them, they can chase you, you can "crush" them and they you. they can come to your feet and tickle your toes! You can chauffeur them around the house and show them the stuff on the walls. Mine loves to push the microwave buttons and he needs Captain Mommy to get him there. we have one lower cabinet that is empty and unlocked. This is his "hide & scare mama" cabinet.

After 18 months

At this point, you have a handle on what your kiddo likes. When you go to the store, they might point out something they want. My advice, think critically if this toy provides more than short term entertainment, does it put pressure on him to learn something beyond his development, does it provide a concept that you want them to learn like a toy boy with little people to introduce the idea of other people and kindness, taking turns, etc.?

TLDR

Babys don't need more than a way to stay warm, a way to eat, and a way to be clean in the first 3 moths. After that adding minimal toys can help keep baby entertained so mom can maximize time for herself.

Moms need way more than the babies do and Be Her Village provides a way for mom to have a "baby registry" for her needs.

Toys don't need to be the plastic junk from the store. You are a toy, the chairs are a toy, the dog is a toy, kitchen utensils make excellent toys.

Thanks for tagging along on this wild ride! Liked this post? Didn't like this post? Let us know in a comment or email! Were you looking for something else? Let me know! wildwondersdoula@gmail.com